Some of the finest double entendres on British TV & Radio
Michael Burke on watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked:
"They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts."
Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open:
"Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself."
Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports:
"Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets."
Jack Burnicle was talking about Colin Edward's tyre choice on World Superbike racing:
"Colin had a hard on in practice earlier, and I bet he wished he had a hard on now."
Chris Tarrant discussing the first Millionaire winner Judith Keppel on This Morning TV:
"She was practising fastest finger first by herself in bed last night."
'Winning Post's' Stewart Machin commentating on jockey Tony McCoy's formidable lead:
"Tony has a quick look between his legs and likes what he sees."
Ross King discussing relays with champion runner Phil Redmond:
"Well Phil, tell us about your amazing third leg."
Cricketer Neil Fairbrother hit a single during a Durham v Lancashire match, inspiring Bobby Simpson to observe:
"With his lovely soft hands he just tossed it off."
Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said:
"There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this."
James Allen interviewing Ralf Schumacher at a Grand Prix, asked:
"What does it feel like being rammed up the backside by Barrichello?"
Steve Ryder covering the US Masters:
"Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69."
The new stand at Doncaster race course took Brough Scott's breath away...
"My word," he said. "Look at that magnificent erection."
Willie Carson was telling Claire Balding how jockeys prepare for a big race when he said:
"They usually have four or five dreams a night about coming from different positions."
Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on Time Team Live said:
"You'd eat beaver if you could get it."
A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked,
"So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?"
Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!
US PGA Commentator -
"One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them ....
.. Oh my god!!!!! What have I just said?!!!!"
Metro Radio football match commentary -
"Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."
Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 -
"Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew."
Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator -
"This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother."
New Zealand Rugby Commentator -
"Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him."
Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator -
"And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!"
Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock
Jingle bells swing and jingle bells ring
Snowin' and blowin' up bushels of fun
Now the jingle hop has begun
Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock
Jingle bells chime in jingle bell time
Dancin' and prancin' in Jingle Bell Square
In the frosty air
What a bright time, it's the right time
To rock the night away
Jingle bell time is a swell time
To go glidin' in a one-horse sleigh
Giddy-up jingle horse, pick up your feet
Jingle around the clock
Mix and a-mingle in the jinglin' feet
That's the jingle bell rock
Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock
Jingle bell chime in jingle bell time
Dancin' and prancin' in Jingle Bell Square
In the frosty air
What a bright time, it's the right time
To rock the night away
Jingle bell time is a swell time
To go glidin' in a one-horse sleigh
Giddy-up jingle horse, pick up your feet
Jingle around the clock
Mix and a-mingle in the jinglin' feet
That's the jingle bell
That's the jingle bell
That's the jingle...
David Daniel Ball calls himself the Conservative Voice.
I'm a teacher with three decades experience teaching math to high school kids.I also work with first graders and kids in between first grade and high school. I know the legends of why Hypatia's dad is remembered through his contribution to Math theory. And I know the legend of why followers of Godel had thought he had disproved God's existence.
I'm not a preacher, but I am a Christian who has written over 28 books all of which include some reference to my faith. Twelve blog books on world history and current affairs, detailing world events , births and marriages on each day of the year, organised by month. Twelve books on the background to and history of Bible Quotes. One Bible quote per day for a year. An intro to a science fiction series I'm planning, post apocalyptic cyber punk. An autobiography with short story collections.
I'm known in Australia for my failure as a whistleblower over the negligence death of a school boy. ...
The Good Shepherd Blues
(John’s Song – Ephesus, sometime around AD 95)
(Slow 12-bar blues in A minor – play it like an old man who’s seen too much but still got fire in his eyes)
Verse 1
I am the disciple that Jesus loved, they say
Leaned on His ...
Beethoven’s Last Blues (John’s Gospel in D-minor)
🎹 Turn the lights down low.
Grab your oldest headphones, your darkest room, and the heaviest heart you’ve got.
Play “Beethoven’s Last Blues” once—at the volume you’re scared to use.
Let it crawl inside the silence you carry.
When the final low D fades into nothing, don’t move.
Stay there in the dark until you feel something rise up that has no sound.
That’s the Word becoming flesh in you.
That’s joy breaking through deafness.
Now pass it on.
Send it to the one who’s lost their music.
Tell them: the conversation hasn’t ended.
The Ninth is still coming.
And it’s coming for them.
Play it loud enough for the deaf to hear.
Because joy was made to outrun silence.
#BeethovensLastBlues #TheWordBecameFlesh
Woke up this mornin’, world gone black as coal,
Ears full of silence, Lord, it done swallowed my soul.
Fingers still dancin’ on keys that don’t speak no more,
Hammer and string keep lyin’, like a lover walkin’...
Stand with the Blue: Honor Nicola Cotton, Learn from Redfern
Imagine a young officer, full of promise, gunned down in broad daylight—her only "crime" was stepping up to protect her community. That's the heartbreaking reality of Nicola Cotton, the 24-year-old New Orleans policewoman murdered in 2008 while trying to arrest a suspect. Eight weeks pregnant, she was shot 15 times with her own service weapon by a man with a history of severe mental illness who had been prematurely released from care. Her death wasn't just a loss for Louisiana; it exposed raw cracks in our systems—mental health failures, under-resourced patrols, and the relentless dangers officers face in high-risk neighborhoods.
Now fast-forward to Sydney's Redfern riots of 2004, half a world away. A 17-year-old Indigenous teen, TJ Hickey, dies in a tragic bike accident during what police called a routine patrol—but his community saw it as yet another flashpoint in a cycle of distrust, poverty, and ...