ARTIFICIAL INSEMINATION: Procreation without recreation.
BOOKCASE: A piece of furniture used in America to house bowling trophies and Elvis collectibles.
BULIMIA: Retched excess.
CHIC: Considered smart without the deadening implication of intelligence.
CLIQUE: A group of insiders who greet outsiders with their backsides; a closed circle of asses.
CONSULTANT: A jobless person who shows executives how to work.
DENTURES: Two rows of artificial ivories that may be removed periodically to frighten one's grandchildren or provide accompaniment to Spanish music.
DNA: A complex organic molecule characterized as the building block of life and appropriately shaped like a spiral staircase to nowhere.
ERUDITE: Exhibiting a degree of book learning fatal to success in any business or romantic enterprise.
FIBER: Edible wood-pulp said to aid digestion and prolong life, so that we might enjoy another six or eight years in which to consume wood-pulp.
FUNERAL HOME: A stately manse occupied by transients who continually receive visitors but lack the energy and inclination to entertain them.
GENETIC ENGINEERING: Tampering with chromosomes so that science might develop a new miracle cure or a rabbit that plays the banjo.
HIP: Smartly attuned to the latest cutting-edge cliches.
JOB: A state of employment everyone wants but few look forward to on a Monday morning.
LAWYER: A professional advocate hired to bend the law on behalf of a paying client; for this reason considered the most suitable background for entry into politics.
LECHER: A stud with liver spots.
LOOTING: A public shopping spree generously sponsored by local merchants in the wake of a riot.
LOTTERY: The equivalent of betting that the next pope will be from Duluth, or that the parrot in the pet store window speaks Flemish.
MATH ANXIETY: An intense lifelong fear of two trains approaching each other at speeds of 60 and 80 mph.
MUGGER: A benevolent citizen of the streets who frequently spares the lives of total strangers in exchange for any cash and valuables in their possession.
NEGOTIATING: The art of persuading your opponent to take the nice shiny copper penny and give you the wrinkled old paper money.
NEUROTIC: Sane but unhappy about it.
OBITUARY: A final summation of our lives that, for most of us, occupies about three inches of space in what will shortly become cage liner for our neighbor's parakeet.
POSITIVE THINKING: Self-improvement through self-deception.
QUALITY OF LIFE: What an industrialized nation is said to offer when enough of its citizens are suffering from terminal stress.
REVOLUTIONARY: An oppressed person wating for the opportunity to become an oppressor.
SHALLOWNESS: The root cause of chronic good health, high school popularity, appearance on the fiction bestseller lists, and gainful employment on local TV news broadcasts.
STAR: A performer who makes more than his or her agent. Also SUPERSTAR: A performer who makes more than Guatemala.
STATE-OF-THE-ART: Soon-to-be-obsolete.
TABOO: Any strict cultural prohibition that, when breached, causes everyone in the group to gasp; e.g., cannibalism, public nudity, serving fried pork rinds at a Hasidic wedding, or answering the question "How are you?" in the negative.
UNEMPLOYMENT: The usual alternative to overwork.
URINAL: The one place where all men are peers.
VIRGIN: A young innocent who in former times was sacrificed to the gods but who now merely lives in disgrace.
WAKE: 1. A convivial soiree with a preserved corpse in the room. 2. What the mourners would be visibly startled to see the corpse do, especially those expecting a sizable inheritance.
X-CHROMOSOME: A genetic double-cross that empowers women with the ability to bear children and reserves for men the right to be color- blind hemophiliacs.
ZOMBIE: A mirthless creature beloved by teenage horror movie fans and those in charge of the hiring at accounting firms.
Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock
Jingle bells swing and jingle bells ring
Snowin' and blowin' up bushels of fun
Now the jingle hop has begun
Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock
Jingle bells chime in jingle bell time
Dancin' and prancin' in Jingle Bell Square
In the frosty air
What a bright time, it's the right time
To rock the night away
Jingle bell time is a swell time
To go glidin' in a one-horse sleigh
Giddy-up jingle horse, pick up your feet
Jingle around the clock
Mix and a-mingle in the jinglin' feet
That's the jingle bell rock
Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock
Jingle bell chime in jingle bell time
Dancin' and prancin' in Jingle Bell Square
In the frosty air
What a bright time, it's the right time
To rock the night away
Jingle bell time is a swell time
To go glidin' in a one-horse sleigh
Giddy-up jingle horse, pick up your feet
Jingle around the clock
Mix and a-mingle in the jinglin' feet
That's the jingle bell
That's the jingle bell
That's the jingle...
David Daniel Ball calls himself the Conservative Voice.
I'm a teacher with three decades experience teaching math to high school kids.I also work with first graders and kids in between first grade and high school. I know the legends of why Hypatia's dad is remembered through his contribution to Math theory. And I know the legend of why followers of Godel had thought he had disproved God's existence.
I'm not a preacher, but I am a Christian who has written over 28 books all of which include some reference to my faith. Twelve blog books on world history and current affairs, detailing world events , births and marriages on each day of the year, organised by month. Twelve books on the background to and history of Bible Quotes. One Bible quote per day for a year. An intro to a science fiction series I'm planning, post apocalyptic cyber punk. An autobiography with short story collections.
I'm known in Australia for my failure as a whistleblower over the negligence death of a school boy. ...
This story is autobiographical. I met God in a dream before I knew Him.
I'll include story, song and bits and pieces I used to make it visual, with thanks to Grok, Suno, Animaker and my friend, for her encouragement.
Two Dreams That Changed Everything
It was February 14, 1978. I was living with my family in a long, low ranch house at 101 Winant Road in Princeton, New Jersey. The house stretched out with basements at each end—one near the driveway, the other deeper in the back. That evening, my grandmother, my older sister, my brother, and I had traveled by train and taxi to New York City's Albert Einstein Hospital where my younger sister, Pam was. Pam's body had rejected the kidney transplant. We were there to say goodbye to her as she lay unconcious.
I returned home late, around 11:30 p.m., exhausted and numb. The house felt too quiet. As I headed down to the basement near the driveway to turn off a forgotten light, my hand caught on something sharp—a small splinter embedded near the ...
Thanks to Mark, Eric and Dan for making this possible. I'm not saying they endorse it. It is a book. I took 50 Fairy Tales and Transliterated them into a Warlpiri Context set in the Dreamtime in the Tanami Desert. Warlpiri is an Australian Aboriginal language based mainly in Northern Territory. It has about 3000 speakers today who are bilingual English. I'm not giving you traditional Dreamtime stories as they are sacred, used for ceremony. Instead, I have these 50 items.
Dreamtime, or Jukurrpa is the oral history of Warlpiri extending back tens of thousands of years, predating farming. So there were challenges in making these stories in cultural terms. Eg, in the Frog Prince, the girl kisses a frog. No self respecting Jukurrpa Karnta would do that to her Yapa. Instead, the lizard (cane toads are imports) would accompany her for a meal with her folks several times. And he becomes a worthy prince. Sorry Harry.
https://www.amazon.com.au/dp/B0GH8K3M6J?ref=ppx_yo2ov_dt_b_fed_asin_title...
https://rumble.com/v7462v6-first-cricket-test-blues-15-19th-march-1877.html
Imagine a time in 1877 when cricket was already a beloved sport in England, but a bold new chapter began on the other side of the world. An English team sailed across the oceans to Australia, where they faced a local side at the grand Melbourne Cricket Ground. This wasn't just any game—it was the very first official Test match, a multi-day battle of skill, strategy, and endurance played over several days on a dusty pitch under the colonial sun. Players wore classic Victorian whites, crowds gathered in excitement, and the match featured pioneering moments that would shape the sport forever. It marked the start of an epic international rivalry between England and Australia, full of drama, tradition, and passion that still captivates fans today.
Here are some evocative vintage illustrations capturing the spirit of that historic 1877 encounter:
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Cricket enthusiasts, ...