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November 29, 2021
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Over the massive front doors of a church, these words were inscribed: "The Gate of Heaven". Below that was a small cardboard sign which read: "Please use other entrance."

Rev. Warren J. Keating, Pastor of the First Presbyterian Church of Yuma, AZ, says that the best prayer he ever heard was: "Lord, please make me the kind of person my dog thinks I am."

A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem. A young girl answered: "Because they couldn't get a babysitter."

Woman went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. "What denomination?" Asked the clerk. "Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this?" said the woman. "Well give me 50 Baptist and 50 Catholic ones."

Pastor: "This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Johnson to come forward and lay an egg on the altar."

Rev. H.J. Dick, pastor of Emmaus Mennonite Church near Whitewater, KS, came to the end of a very heavy day at the New Year's Eve midnight service. Getting his tongue tangled, he announced, "Let us now stand and sing, Another Dear is Yawning."

On a very cold, snowy Sunday in February, only the pastor and one farmer arrived at the village church. The pastor said, "Well, I guess we won't have a service today." The farmer replied: "Heck, if even only one cow shows up at feeding time, I feed it."

During a children's sermon, Rev. Larry Eisenberg asked the children what "Amen" means. A little boy raised his hand and said: "It means - 'Tha-tha-tha-that's all folks!' "

A student was asked to list the 10 Commandments in any order. His answer? "3, 6, 1, 8, 4, 5, 9, 2, 10, 7".

I was at the beach with my children when my four-year-old son ran up to me, grabbed my hand, and led me to the shore, where a sea gull lay dead in the sand. "Mommy, what happened to him?" the little boy asked. "He died and went to Heaven," I replied. My son thought a moment and then said, "And God threw him back down?"

Bill Keane, creator of the Family Circus cartoon strip tells of a time when he was penciling one of his cartoons and his son Jeffy said, "Daddy, how do you know what to draw?" I said, "God tells me." Jeffy said, "Then why do you keep erasing parts of it?"

After the church service, a little boy told the pastor: "When I grow up, I'm going to give you some money." "Well, thank you," the pastor replied, "but why?" "Because my daddy says you're one of the poorest preachers we've ever had."

My wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to our six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?" I wouldn't know what to say," she replied. "Just say what you hear Mommy say," my wife said. Our daughter bowed her head and said: "Dear Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"

From the Churchdown Parish Magazine: 'Would the Congregation please note that the bowl at the back of the Church, labelled "For The Sick", is for monetary donations only.'

From The Guardian concerning a sign seen in a Police canteen in Christchurch, New Zealand: 'Will the person who took a slice of cake from the Commissioner's Office return it immediately. It is needed as evidence in a poisoning case.'

From The Times 'A young girl, who was blown out to sea on a set of inflatable teeth, was rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster. A coast-guard spokesman commented, "This sort of thing is all too common these days."'

From The Gloucester Citizen: 'A sex line caller complained to Trading Standards. After dialling an 0891 number from an advertisement entitled "Hear Me Moan" the caller was played a tape of a woman nagging her husband for failing to do jobs around the house. Consumer Watchdogs in Dorset refused to look into the complaint, saying, "He got what he deserved."'

From The Barnsley Chronicle: 'Police arrived quickly, to find Mr Melchett hanging by his fingertips from the back wall. He had run out of the house when the owner, Paul Finch, returned home unexpectedly, and, spotting an intruder in the garden, had dialled 999. What Mr Finch did not know was that Mr Melchett had been visiting Mrs Finch and, hearing the front door open, had climbed out of the rear window. But the back wall was 8 feet high and Mr Melchett had been unable to get his leg over.'

From The Scottish Big Issue: 'In Sydney, 120 men named Henry attacked each other during a "My Name is Henry" convention. Henry Pantie of Canberra accused Henry Pap of Sydney of not being a Henry at all, but in fact an Angus. "It was a lie", explained Mr. Pap, "I'm a Henry and always will be.", whereupon Henry Pap attacked Henry Pantie, whilst two other Henrys - Jones and Dyer - attempted to pull them apart. Several more Henrys - Smith, Calderwood and Andrews - became involved and soon the entire convention descended into a giant fist fight. The brawl was eventually broken up by riot police, led by a man named Shane."

From The Daily Telegraph in a piece headed "Brussels Pays 200,000 Pounds to Save Prostitutes": "... the money will not be going directly into the prostitutes' pocket, but will be used to encourage them to lead a better life. We will be training them for new positions in hotels."

From The Derby Abbey Community News: "We apologise for the error in the last edition, in which we stated that 'Mr. Fred Nicolme is a Defective in the Police Force'. This was a typographical error. We meant of course that Mr Nicolme is a Detective in the Police Farce."

From The Guardian: "After being charged 20 pounds for a 10 pounds overdraft, 30 year old Michael Howard of Leeds changed his name by deed poll to "Yorkshire Bank Plc are Fascist Bastards". The Bank has now asked him to close his account, and Mr Bastards has asked them to repay the 69p balance by cheque, made out in his new name."

From The Manchester Evening News: "Police called to arrest a naked man on the platform at Piccadilly Station released their suspect after he produced a valid rail ticket."

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November 27, 2022
Jingle Bell Rock

Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock
Jingle bells swing and jingle bells ring
Snowin' and blowin' up bushels of fun
Now the jingle hop has begun

Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock
Jingle bells chime in jingle bell time
Dancin' and prancin' in Jingle Bell Square
In the frosty air

What a bright time, it's the right time
To rock the night away
Jingle bell time is a swell time
To go glidin' in a one-horse sleigh

Giddy-up jingle horse, pick up your feet
Jingle around the clock
Mix and a-mingle in the jinglin' feet
That's the jingle bell rock

Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock
Jingle bell chime in jingle bell time
Dancin' and prancin' in Jingle Bell Square
In the frosty air

What a bright time, it's the right time
To rock the night away
Jingle bell time is a swell time
To go glidin' in a one-horse sleigh

Giddy-up jingle horse, pick up your feet
Jingle around the clock
Mix and a-mingle in the jinglin' feet
That's the jingle bell
That's the jingle bell
That's the jingle...

00:02:04
September 01, 2021
Intro to Locals for the Conservative Voice

David Daniel Ball calls himself the Conservative Voice.

I'm a teacher with three decades experience teaching math to high school kids.I also work with first graders and kids in between first grade and high school. I know the legends of why Hypatia's dad is remembered through his contribution to Math theory. And I know the legend of why followers of Godel had thought he had disproved God's existence.

I'm not a preacher, but I am a Christian who has written over 28 books all of which include some reference to my faith. Twelve blog books on world history and current affairs, detailing world events , births and marriages on each day of the year, organised by month. Twelve books on the background to and history of Bible Quotes. One Bible quote per day for a year. An intro to a science fiction series I'm planning, post apocalyptic cyber punk. An autobiography with short story collections.

I'm known in Australia for my failure as a whistleblower over the negligence death of a school boy. ...

00:01:50
Grok tanks on truth telling

write editorial on Deep State Corruption and Fauci and Gates. Anthony Fauci and Bill Gates would know each other through professional channels. Gates has run a philanthropic organisation since becoming the world's richest man, for a time, and Fauci has led the US from the National Institute of Health. Their positions on COVID management were not accidental and rhymed with each other in ways that honest brokers would not have anticipated. Fauci's hamfisted management of Aids led to practices that are now largely debunked, with care from retro virals leading to HIV positive people leading near full term lives, now. Similarly, the initial scare of COVID 19 led to draconian measures, none of which effectively managed the disease, but which magically allowed conditions for a bungled 2020 presidential election. Masking was counterproductive, as the masks made spread more likely, and created conditions for social disease to spread, like school children missing out on seeing facial expressions. ...

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Iran’s Peace Charade: Demanding Truce to Keep Killing

As President Trump weighs the latest overtures from Tehran for some form of “peace,” the Islamic Republic’s mullahs are once again playing a familiar game. They wave the olive branch in public while sharpening their daggers in private. The regime’s history over 47 years reveals a consistent pattern: tactical pauses and diplomatic smiles are simply opportunities to regroup, rearm, and continue their campaign of domestic slaughter, international terrorism, and ideological warfare. Any genuine peace must confront this reality head-on rather than wish it away.

The theocratic takeover in 1979 did not emerge from a vacuum. In the years leading up to the overthrow of the Shah, Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini and his network operated covertly from exile in Iraq and later France. Khomeini’s fiery sermons were smuggled into Iran via cassette tapes, building a revolutionary infrastructure among disaffected clerics, bazaar merchants, students, and leftist groups. This underground agitation combined religious fervor with ...

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What peace with Iran entails

Since the 1979 Iranian Revolution that established the Islamic Republic, the regime has been accused by the US, Israel, European governments, human rights organizations, and courts of systematic domestic atrocities, state-sponsored terrorism, proxy warfare, and a covert nuclear weapons program. These actions span nearly five decades and form the core legacy any US administration—including one seeking “peace”—must weigh. Iran denies most allegations, framing them as resistance to imperialism or self-defense, but intelligence assessments, UN/IAEA reports, court rulings, and survivor accounts paint a consistent pattern of aggression, repression, and bad-faith diplomacy.

Domestic Atrocities and Repression

The regime has prioritized internal control through mass executions, torture, and brutal crackdowns on dissent, often targeting political opponents, women, minorities, and protesters.

Early post-revolution purges (1980s): After the revolution, thousands of officials from the Shah’s era, leftists, and others were ...

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The Starship V3 Launch
A Triumph of Iteration Over Perfection

The Starship V3 Launch: A Triumph of Iteration Over Perfection

The debut flight of Starship Version 3 on May 22, 2026, was exactly what it needed to be: a solid success, imperfect in places, but brimming with promise. Booster 19 and Ship 39 lit up the South Texas sky from the new Pad 2, demonstrated the leap in capabilities with Raptor 3 engines and upgraded structures, deployed test satellites, survived reentry challenges, and delivered valuable data. The booster's hard landing in the Gulf and a lost engine on the ship were reminders that this is still frontier engineering. Perfection wasn't the goal—progress was.

This is the beauty of SpaceX's approach. Each version is a stepping stone. V3 isn't meant to be the final word; it's a bridge to V4, which Elon Musk has indicated will be significantly larger—potentially 10-20% longer and more capable, with payload capacities pushing toward the extraordinary. V4 is shaping up to be the workhorse: the vehicle that makes orbital refueling routine, enables sustained lunar operations, and lays the groundwork for the first uncrewed Mars missions.

And V4 will eventually yield to V5, and beyond. That's the point. Starship's evolution mirrors the rapid iteration that transformed Falcon 9 from a risky newcomer into the backbone of global launch. We don't yet know the full spectrum of what V3 hardware will enable as it matures—dedicated crew configurations, tanker variants for massive in-orbit refueling, specialized ships for mining asteroids or exploring icy moons, or robust transport hubs. The architecture is flexible by design.

Beyond the Gravity Well

With thousands of Starships in operation, the economics of space flip entirely. What was once prohibitively expensive becomes feasible. Missions long shelved for lack of funding—detailed studies of Titan's methane lakes, probes to Pluto's intriguing surface, or long-duration experiments in deep space—suddenly enter the realm of the practical. A fleet at this scale doesn't just launch payloads; it opens an era of routine interplanetary travel and infrastructure.

Terraforming Mars remains a grand, multi-generational challenge, but the pathway starts here: reliable heavy-lift capability to deliver habitats, ISRU (in-situ resource utilization) equipment, and the industrial base needed to produce fuel, oxygen, and materials on the Red Planet. Early steps could involve Optimus humanoid robots riding Starships to prepare landing sites, assemble structures, and conduct initial operations—reducing risk for future human crews. Plans already point to uncrewed Starship missions to Mars as soon as late 2026 carrying Optimus bots.

The possibilities multiply exponentially once we're truly beyond the gravity well. Self-sustaining outposts. Scientific outposts across the solar system. Even point-to-point transport on Earth. Musk's ventures aren't isolated; the integration of Starship's transport power with Optimus's labor potential creates synergies that accelerate everything.

Critics will point to the anomalies, the timelines, the immense challenges ahead. They're not wrong to be cautious—space is unforgiving. But the V3 flight, like those before it, proves the method works: test boldly, learn fast, improve relentlessly. What was impossible yesterday becomes table stakes tomorrow.

Humanity stands at the threshold of becoming a multi-planetary species. V3's "mixed success" isn't a flaw—it's fuel for the next leap. To infinity and beyond, indeed. The stars aren't waiting; thanks to this iterative revolution, we're finally catching up.

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The Pacific Solution
Unbelievable Official Figures Inform Public Policy

The Pacific Solution: Unbelievable Official Figures Inform Public Policy

The Australian solution to the humanitarian crisis of people smuggling — known as the Pacific Solution — was introduced by John Howard’s government in the early 2000s. The crisis had roots in the Vietnamese migration following the Fall of Saigon and the Whitlam government’s hand-wringing approach.

Official figures often mask the grim reality. Some 1.5 to 2 million Vietnamese fled their homeland by boat. Only around 800,000 arrived at a destination. Bean counters in the media and the UN claim a mortality rate of about 15%. But the obvious reality is that only about 40% survived. The disparity arises because only confirmed deaths are officially counted. Many more boats simply vanished due to unseaworthy vessels, storms, and pirates who preyed on defenceless people. While Australia accepted under 100,000 Vietnamese through refugee camps, only about 2,000 came directly by boat.

The Pacific Solution addressed the less murderous but still dangerous journey from Indonesia to Australia. China-sponsored pirates were not part of the equation this time, but the trip remained perilous. Critics insist the death rate was “only” 2–4%. However, because the total number of departures is unknown, anecdotal reports of missing boats rarely feature in stories that damage Labor. Even 2–4% is far too high.

In Australia, Labor has long enjoyed a reputation for championing migrant rights — yet their policies resulted in drowning people who wanted to come here and exposed them to exploitation by people smugglers charging more than $10,000 per person — a fortune for many who don’t earn that in a lifetime.

Conservatives, by successfully limiting the number of illegal arrivals, have been labelled as wasteful for the resources used to achieve that outcome. A figure of $1 billion has been cited, but this includes routine aviation surveillance and foreign aid spending. One wonders whether spending a billion dollars on Nauru for something trivial like placing condoms in primary school bathrooms would have drawn the same criticism.

What about the far higher human cost of drowning people exploited by people smugglers? Because the arguments against the Pacific Solution failed so badly when it was dismantled, it had to be reimplemented. It was done poorly at first under Gillard, but responsibly under Abbott. While the ALP earned media kudos for “compassion” that in reality exploited desperate people fleeing third-world conditions, it was conservatives who were vilified for prioritising legal migrants and strong borders. Some even complained there were too many legal migrants.

Go back to 2002: Australia faced a crisis as illegal migrants flew to Indonesia and then boarded boats in substantial numbers, many from Iraq. The Tampa affair saw illegal migrants damage their own boat before being rescued by a merchant vessel originally heading to Indonesia. They then overwhelmed the crew and redirected the Tampa toward Australia. The Australian government responded by deploying SAS special forces to redirect the ship. The press claimed this put the illegals at risk. Later, after the Children Overboard affair, the Pacific Solution was born. Australian islands were excised from the migration zone. Asylum seekers were processed offshore and resettled elsewhere. The same press that accepted drowning migrants under Labor protested the offshore processing of illegals. Today, even under an ALP government, the core elements of the Pacific Solution continue.

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Where Have the Heroes Gone?
Ultraman, Jonny Sokko and his flying robot

Where Have the Heroes Gone?

Growing up in the shadow of Johnny Sokko and His Flying Robot and Ultraman was a peculiar kind of childhood education. These weren't polished American cartoons with flawless animation and moral sermons delivered like after-school specials. They were raw, colorful, Japanese tokusatsu imports—dubbed into English with that unmistakable cadence that forced you to lean in and follow the often-ridiculous plots. The dubbing was half the fun: earnest voices over rubber-suited actors stomping through miniature cities. You had to concentrate, because the stories moved fast and the logic was gloriously elastic.

The Married with Children gag—"Phone Tokyo"—was pitch-perfect. Al Bundy hearing that grandma was upstairs and immediately assuming kaiju-level catastrophe captured exactly how these shows imprinted on a generation. Godzilla wasn't just a movie; it was the default explanation for any household disturbance. Ultraman and Johnny Sokko were its weekly television companions, beamed in from a place where monsters were real, heroes wore helmets, and the fate of the world rested on a kid with a control device or a blinking Color Timer.

Johnny Sokko spoke to something deeper and darker than it let on. A boy controlling a towering robot against an alien terrorist syndicate, with adults in uniforms who sometimes felt a bit too comfortable around children in peril. There was real tension there: the threat of capture, the casual violence, the sense that good people could die badly. The annoying younger female agent (Mari, I believe) served as the rule-following foil to Johnny's pragmatic impulsiveness. Her constant presence grated in the way only a TV sibling-rival can, yet it was balanced by moments of pure charm—like that whistling motif that somehow made the whole enterprise feel whimsical even amid explosions. The violence never felt cheap or consequence-free. Good guys rarely got hurt in satisfying ways, but when stakes rose, the losses could be permanent and sobering. It prepared young viewers for a world that wasn't always fair.

Then came Ultraman, which opened with the hero dying. Shin Hayata perishes in a crash, only to be reborn through merger with an alien protector. It's a modern retelling of sacrifice and resurrection—echoes of Acts, or any number of mythic hero journeys, wrapped in silver-and-red spandex and miniature destruction. The Science Patrol (SSSP) felt like a real team: Captain Muramatsu's steady leadership, Ide's comic relief, Arashi's bravado, and Fuji. Ah, Fuji Akiko. Smart, compassionate, capable—the kind of character a certain generation of boys fell for without quite understanding why. That blushing "Fuji apple" memory hits home: she represented competence and care in a world of rampaging beasts. Who among us didn't secretly wish the giant hero would notice her too?

What we didn't fully appreciate as kids was that grown adults—talented stuntmen, actors, and effects wizards—were having the time of their lives in those rubber suits. Eiji Tsuburaya's team poured creativity into every wire-assisted leap and pyrotechnic blast. The camp was unintentional but glorious. These shows weren't ironic; they were sincere. They believed in heroism, duty, and the idea that even a child (or a merged salaryman) could stand against impossible odds.

So where have such heroes gone?

Modern blockbusters give us CGI spectacles with quippy dialogue and endless franchise tie-ins, but they rarely capture that same unfiltered wonder. Today's children's entertainment is often either hyper-polished animation or live-action drenched in sarcasm and moral ambiguity. The simple thrill of a giant robot flying in to punch a weekly monster, or an alien hero arriving with three minutes to save the day, feels almost quaint. We've traded earnest rubber-suited battles for polished cynicism. We've traded Fuji’s quiet competence for characters who spend more time deconstructing heroism than embodying it.

Yet the appeal endures. Those dubbed episodes still whistle through memory like Johnny Sokko’s tune—imperfect, earnest, and strangely comforting. They remind us that heroism doesn't need to be grimdark or ironic. Sometimes it just needs a kid with conviction, a giant friend, and the willingness to face the monster anyway.

In an age of streaming algorithms and focus-grouped content, perhaps the real question isn't "Where have the heroes gone?" but "Are we still brave enough to phone Tokyo when the trouble starts?"

The Color Timer is blinking. Let's not waste the three minutes.

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